Lonely

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.” Elizabeth Gilbert This is my feeling today, loneliness. I am searching to not feel alone. I have a boyfriend and I have people I can call upon, but I am trying not to use them for my own unfulfilled yearnings. I struggle with this, being in the movement and feeling this feeling. Do I sit here or do I climb out and walk on. I feel like I sat here yesterday in loneliness and I don’t feel like I am making progress on who I want to become. I feel like I am going to try to climb out of the loneliness hole, I have explored it here and I am not a fan. I am trying to not lead my life with my emotions. However I feel like I am on the merry go ride. My emotions are the slaves to my thoughts, and I am the salve to my emotions. Tonight is pottery, how ironic that I have to be centered to center the clay. I have to be calm and think about the clay in order to produce anything. I will my breathing tonight and I will think good thoughts. This hole is not too deep. I think with a ladder I can do this.